Lately my mind has been a complete mess. I don't know what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, or what I want anymore. I've stopped taking drugs (as frequently, at least) and I've been feeling bloody miserable ever since. So I took some today, which I do not regret at all.. I feel pretty damn great. Only thing is my eyes keep bugging out of my skull and I have the feeling my friends are aware that I'm on something. Lovely. Anyways, enough drug talk, as I can tell no one even reads my posts anymore due to the excessive drug rants. Well I'm sorry folks, but this is a blog, meaning this should be about my life. And right now in my life, I've lost my mind.
I'm going through a lot of difficult thoughts, mainly the thought of liking girls. Now, for about four years or so now, I've embraced liking girls and am not ashamed of it whatsoever. I'm not completely out about it, but the only reason I'm not is because people in my school don't care enough to spread that fact around. Eh, their loss. ;) The point is, I like girls. And the problem is, I have a boyfriend.
I'm not sure what exactly to do, but I'm planning on breaking up with him as soon as possible. But I'm freaking out about it. My entire group of friends literally revolves around me being friends with him, so I'm hoping he won't take it harshly. Either way, my mind is racing with horrible thoughts. And I don't know how to make it stop.
1. "Where is My Mind?" by the Pixies
2. "Sad Dream" by Sky Ferreira
3. "You and I" by Silver Apple
4. "Lights Changing Colour" by Star
5. "All the Young Dudes" by Mott the Hoople
6. "Gamma Ray" by Beck
7. "Trouble" by Cat Stevens
A really understanding person would accept that your sexuality is fluctuating, especially in this up-and-down time - high school, ew! Hopefully your (ex?)boyfriend will realize that fact as well, if not, well he's not a very understanding person is he? Play around, find some girls, just try not to break any hearts in the process :)
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