Where is My Mind?

  Lately my mind has been a complete mess. I don't know what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, or what I want anymore. I've stopped taking drugs (as frequently, at least) and I've been feeling bloody miserable ever since. So I took some today, which I do not regret at all.. I feel pretty damn great. Only thing is my eyes keep bugging out of my skull and I have the feeling my friends are aware that I'm on something. Lovely. Anyways, enough drug talk, as I can tell no one even reads my posts anymore due to the excessive drug rants. Well I'm sorry folks, but this is a blog, meaning this should be about my life. And right now in my life, I've lost my mind.

  I'm going through a lot of difficult thoughts, mainly the thought of liking girls. Now, for about four years or so now, I've embraced liking girls and am not ashamed of it whatsoever. I'm not completely out about it, but the only reason I'm not is because people in my school don't care enough to spread that fact around. Eh, their loss. ;) The point is, I like girls. And the problem is, I have a boyfriend.
  I'm not sure what exactly to do, but I'm planning on breaking up with him as soon as possible. But I'm freaking out about it. My entire group of friends literally revolves around me being friends with him, so I'm hoping he won't take it harshly. Either way, my mind is racing with horrible thoughts. And I don't know how to make it stop.

1. "Where is My Mind?" by the Pixies
2. "Sad Dream" by Sky Ferreira
3. "You and I" by Silver Apple
4. "Lights Changing Colour" by Star
5. "All the Young Dudes" by Mott the Hoople
6. "Gamma Ray" by Beck
7. "Trouble" by Cat Stevens

This is the End

  Beautiful friend. This is the end, my only friend, the end. Of all elaborate plans, the end. Of everything that stands, the end. No safety or surprise, the end. I'll never look into your eyes, again..

  God, I love the Doors. But enough of that, haha. I've felt this hauntingly lonesome feeling all weekend, mixed in with a wave of nostalgia from about two or so years ago. It's a weird time for me, is what I'm trying to say.. I've been listening to a lot of music, and maybe if you listen to that same music, you'll get a sense of what I'm trying to say...

1. "Lonesome Town" by Ricky Nelson
2. "Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division
3. "The Killing Moon" by Echo and the Bunnymen
4. "Head over Heels" by Tears for Fears
5. "How to Disappear Completely" by Radiohead
6. "The End of the World" by Skeeter Davis
7. "Summer Daze" by Slowdive
8. "The End" by the Doors

  I've also been watching a lot of movies this weekend. I watched the infamous Donnie Darko for the second time in two years, and it left me with this strange void of emptiness inside. That's where the songs by Joy Division, Echo and the Bunnymen, and Tears for Fears come from. That movie has a lovely soundtrack by the way, something I didn't notice the first time around. It's also a wonderful movie for those of you who haven't seen it, so I highly recommend that.

  I also watched SLC Punk for the first time, and I really liked it. It had that perfect mixture of darkness and a quirky attitude to instantly make me like it. Hell, I even dyed my hair blue today, mainly from main character Stevo's influence (that, and because I've wanted blue hair for a solid year now, ahha). I really recommend that movie as well.

  "End of the World" by Skeeter Davis is from Girl, Interrupted, which I didn't watch this weekend, but have seen enough times that I'm able to tie it in with these other movies I watched. It's definitely in my top 10 favorite movies of all time, and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!! Seriously though, it's just a purely wonderful film. 

  That's really it folks, but I hope everyone is having a lovely December so far, and I really do hope from the bottom of my heart that you all aren't having a depressing holiday season like me! xx

Also rest in peace, Johnny boy! The world misses you xox

Candy Colored Clouds

  Hi everyone, this is a poor excuse for a blog post, but I thought I'd just show you a few things that I've enjoyed recently. The first is a few images, so enjoy these:

I've also had some songs on my mind that you all might enjoy:

1. "Hope" by Klaatu // when the song kicks in (and believe me, you will know when it kicks in) you're rushed with this overwhelmingly intense rush of power and emotion that to this day blows my mind how the hell they captured it into a song
2. "My Girl" by the Temptations // how can anyone not like this song? Every time I listen to it, I feel so happy inside and nostalgia for a time period I never lived in washes over me
3. "You Get What You Give" by the New Radicals // although this song is a little bit newer than music I typically listen to, I'm a really big fan of this song. Plus it reminds me of my childhood, hearing it on the radio
4. "Everybody's Talkin'" by Harry Nilsson // this song is soft and pretty, yet deep and soulful at the same time, making it an instant favorite in my mind
5. "Village Green" by the Kinks // a lesser known Kinks tune, this personal favorite of mine sounds so different from a lot of other typical songs from the time period that it's hard not to love it, honestly. It sounds like a medieval party to me, which is something I think everyone can groove to
6. "Midnight Confessions" by the Grass Roots // this song was one of my favorites in the eighth grade, and I forgot about it up until now. It's so big yet at the same time so small, as it confuses my mind and makes me feel all warm and bubbly inside. Check it out

AND FINALLY check out some groovy links that've kept me occupied for the past week or so.
Fantastic Elvis art collection from Rookie
Klaus Voormann's artwork from his Hamburg days with the Beatles
Klaatu
Beatles News
Today in Beatles History...

Have a lovely day you lovely people xx

Technicolor Dreams

This picture makes me so happy by the way, I just LOVE this watch

  

  I've been freaking out lately due to school and whatnot, so I figured I'd vent in a blog post. As you all know, I hate the American education system, and think it's highly flawed. So I've been spending a ridiculously large amount of time on the internet lately in an attempt to calm myself down. In doing so I found a band on Spotify (follow mine here :) called Sweet that were dominant in the mid-seventies glam scene. They sound like an offspring of Cheap Trick and the Bay City Rollers to me, and I really like them. Plus, look at their outfits:

They're so glamtastic, it hurts.

 

  Seriously, who can't love these guys and their outfits? I really like their sound, and especially their look. It got me thinking about how much I love sixties and seventies technicolor (even though in the seventies technicolor wasn't being used as much, when it was used, it was FAB), so here's a tribute to the songs and images that've inspired me within the past 24 hours.

1. "Ballroom Blitz" by Sweet
2. "I Only Wanna Be With You" by the Bay City Rollers
3. "Just Got Back" by Cheap Trick
4. "Hi Hi Hi" by Paul McCartney & Wings
5. "Saturday Night" by the Bay City Rollers
6. "Fox on the Run" by Sweet
7. "Blister in the Sun" by the Violent Femmes
8. "Float On" by Modest Mouse
9. "No Sugar Tonight" by the Guess Who
10. "Ashes to Ashes" by David Bowie

Young Americans

  How was everyone's Thanksgiving? Good? Well, excellent. I despise Thanksgiving with a burning passion, but if you had a good one, well, good for you. I'm typing this back on a Tuesday (we had Monday off because the teachers had some meeting or something like that, so it feels like a Monday to me but in all actuality it is a Tuesday morning), in my homeroom, cringing at the obnoxious females that occupy the space next to me. It's one thing to be annoyingly giggly and loud and rude and stuck up, but do you really have to do it next to me? No. The answer is no. 

  Sorry I'm so grumpy, I just hate this stupid American lifestyle. Thanksgiving, see your family, pretend you're thankful because some Native Americans and some pilgrims supposedly had a feast together (although the real history of Thanksgiving is rather gruesome, I'd highly suggest looking into it). I just think it's all pretty stupid. Around this time last year I was longing to be back in London. And this year, I feel the same exact way. I'd do anything to be back in Liverpool though.. 

  All throughout the few days off they gave my school for Thanksgiving "break" I was on my laptop looking up plane ticket prices. I want to run away to Liverpool, be free.. unfortunately though, that cannot be a reality for several reasons...

1. Some airlines won't let me fly alone without parental permission due to my age
2. The only way to purchase a ticket for a flight is online through my debit card, which I'm sure my parents could easily track
3. It's kind of expensive for a ticket, which I don't really mind, but most of my money is in the bank, and in order to take that money out, I need parental permission
4. I'd have to convert all my dollars to pounds, essentially losing value
5. I'd have nowhere to stay and so I'd have to pay for a hotel, losing even more money
6. I couldn't get a job because I'm an immigrant, so I'd have to apply for a work visa
7. All this complicated crap

  The point is, I can't run away to Liverpool, and that makes me sad. Looks like I'm stuck being a young American. 

A Clockwork Pyscho

  The past few weeks, I've been having trouble keeping in touch with reality. Popping pills, smoking, tripping.. I don't know what is real anymore. I believe I've lost contact with the real world; I'd much prefer daydreaming in my own little world, where everything is happy in my mind. I see things that aren't there, I hear things that didn't sound, I feel false feelings.. I'm a mess, and I love it. I feel like a fluid cloud, bubbling and floating on to distances and realities that aren't there.

  Lately I've been into this early 90's shoegaze band named Slowdive. I'm not typically into them, but their songs "Alison," "Crazy For You," and especially their demo "Summer Daze" fill me with chills of nostalgia for a decade I barely belonged in. Summer Daze is especially haunting, and because I learned it on guitar yesterday, I feel even more freaky. Take a look at some of the songs that've been influencing me in a drug-filled craze this week:

Summer Daze by Slowdive (Demo)
Heroin by the Velvet Underground
Shangri-La by Electric Light Orchestra (The last minute or so of this song is so intense, it gives me chills. It is amazing when you're high!)
Maureen by the Beatles (Demo) (The link is to a video from my Youtube account :)
Vienna by Billy Joel
Music for the Funeral of Queen Mary/Title Music from a Clockwork Orange
In the Room Where You Sleep by Dead Man's Bones (This was in The Conjuring, and I've loved it ever since I saw it. Great movie, I highly recommend it)
Alison by Slowdive
The Court of the Crimson King by King Crimson
Life on Mars? by David Bowie

I Believe in ELO

  I'm going to come right out and say it- I've been taking a lot of drugs lately. I've been doing so well in school (high honors, go me!), I got a boyfriend, and my life is just.. great. It sounds awful, but everything is great thanks to drugs. I am NOT in the mood to be yelled at by people who say drugs are bad and all that, I know it's bad, but.. God, I have been on cloud nine lately. THAT BEING SAID, can we just discuss how much I love Electric Light Orchestra? ELO are this electronic rock borderline "pop" band that sounds like how I think space looks. They are fucking INCREDIBLE. Anyone who disagrees has not heard the magic of ELO. 

  I go through these little phases with bands I love where I take one of their songs, realize how great it is, listen to it 24/7, then get sick of it and repeat the cycle. Right now it's "Turn to Stone," and it is brilliant. Normally I'm not one to like commercial-sounding, upbeat pop songs, but "Turn to Stone" is so much more than that. Just listen to it and tell me the chorus doesn't make you want to jump up and sing at the top of your lungs. 

  Sing my school blocked 8tracks, here's a few links to some of my favorite ELO songs:

1. Mr. Blue Sky
2. Telephone Lines (This is in that Steve Buscemi scene of Billy Madison and it's what I think of whenever I hear it, ahha.)
3. Strange Magic
4. Turn to Stone
5. Don't Bring Me Down
6. And here's their Greatest Hits album in case you have a bunch of time to kill

 I've also been obsessing about space. For some reason whenever I'm high I just love talking about space and the solar system. Okay, enjoy and have a super duper day!

Dark Poem of Addiction

  Let me just get this post started by saying I love Lou Reed. One of the first albums I ever bought from the record store was the Velvet Underground & Nico, and it rocked. There's a famous quite (supposedly by Brian Eno) "The Velvet Underground's first album only sold a few thousand copies, but everyone who bought one formed a band." Although it has been confirmed that around 1969 (about two years after the album's initial release) that about 58,476 copies were sold, rather than just a "few thousand," I feel that this quote still holds true power. Just listening to anything by the band and you will absolutely love it. It will transport you to a futuristic world in which music cannot be defined by year or genre. And you will love it.
  That being said, I don't plan on making this a depressing tribute post to the lovely life of Lou and all his work. I plan on making this a celebratory post on everything going on in my life right now, and I hope you all will appreciate it.
  This past Thursday and Friday were.. heavenly. I was finally happy, for one of the first times in the past year, and for no particular reason, either. Actually, on both Thursday and Friday I couldn't stop listening to the Velvet's "Heroin" and "Sweet Jane." Both those songs always mellow me out.. I'm listening to them as a type, and the sweet sixties vibe is calming me down. It's strange.. they're an upbeat rock band, yet they make you feel like you're floating on a groovy cloud. I wasn't planning on making this a Lou post, but fuck.. listening to the Velvet Underground again is bringing back so many memories. They just have a sound that's so unique, I can't even describe it. Screw ranting about my life. Everyone go listen to Lou Reed!

Sam's Current Obsessions: #1 - Monty Python's Flying Circus

  What can I say about Monty Python's Flying Circus? It paved the way for most sketch comedy shows, like Saturday Night Live and Mad TV, as well as plenty of others. It is one of my personal favorite shows of all time. And the brilliant thing is, despite it not being played on television anymore, every episode is available on YouTube, for FREE! (something which is very rare these days.) Don't know what Monty Python is? Well let me explain!

  Monty Python were a British comedy group that started way back when in good ol' 1969. They eventually landed their own TV show, a fantastic thing called Monty Python's Flying Circus. The show was full of strange comedy sketches that often made little sense until the punchline. And they were fucking HILARIOUS.
  The group consisted of Eric Idle, John Cleese, Graham Chapman (which is possibly the most British name ever), Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. Together, they were the Pythons!
  If you're not big into British humor, you probably won't be a big fan of the show or their style of comedy. But since I am, I find these men the funniest. Half of the time they would end their sketches with a police man or some sort of hilariously ridiculous pun or punchline that made you scratch your head in question but still laugh your ass off. They were brilliant, and I feel like the Pythons were essential to modern comedy as we know it. Like take a look at this "Self-defense against fruit" sketch, probably a ridiculously silly concept, but hilariously executed.

 

Or if that doesn't tickle your funny bone, try watching the classic "Dead Parrot" sketch, one of my personal favorites.

Then check out the Lumberjack song, from which the Dead Parrot sketch segways into (pay attention to the "what about my parrot?!" heard in the background, it always leaves me dying laughing)
(check out the original Lumberjack Song here)

The Spam sketch always makes me crack up. I think it's so funny, it could very well be the funniest sketch in my opinion. 

And of course, I couldn't forget the ministry of silly walks:

  There are so many other sketches I could have posted, and all are classics. I hope you enjoyed my current obsession, the wonderfully funny Pythons. :)

Spookadelic

  So I fucking LOVE October. It is my favorite month of the year. Everything is pumpkin flavored, you can still go apple-picking, it's John Lennon's birthday on the ninth, it's that perfect slightly-cold but not quite freezing weather, apple cider is available more popularly and, oh yeah- IT'S FUCKING HALLOWEEN! Halloween is the best holiday of the year and if you deny that then you're wrong.
  I have had a love of vampires LONG before Twilight was even a thought. I love dressing up in fun costumes (last year I was David Bowie) and trick-or-treating for candy. All the dark colors- black, purple, and orange- they just make the holiday a thousand times better. The decorations are amazing; all the plastic spiders and bats and fake gravestones on people's lawns just make me love getting into the Halloween spirit. Over all, I just love Halloween.

This is from Rookie and I love it so therefore it shall be the cover photo.

Vintage skeletons are so cool.

THIS FUCKING VIDEO

Bobbing for apples!

Trick-or-treating. 

Hardcore pumpkin carving!

You'll freak when you see it.. 

The Shining is the best movie I've ever seen and it's perfect for Halloween.

THIS MOVIE

So here's some spookadelic (my own word, I'm quite proud of it) songs to help you get into the Halloween mood :) Enjoy!

1. "Spooky Scary Skeletons" by Andrew Gold
2. "Witchy Woman" by the Eagles
3. "Season of the Witch" by Donovan
4. "Strange Magic" by Electric Light Orchestra
5. "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Öyster Cult
6. "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon
7. "Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers (MY FAVE SONG EVER)
8. "Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker Jr.
9. "Goo Goo Muck" by The Cramps
10. "People are Strange" by The Doors